All the Feels

Sat down with my coffee and opened Twitter to find a mom of a trans kid in the UK who is scared and concerned they have to flee their country soon. Why? Because the UK has elected a conservative leader. Then the fear gripped me too. The safe states won’t be safe if the country isn’t safe. If this country isn’t safe and neighboring countries aren’t safe… what happens to transgender people, especially the children.

Here is the twitter post: https://twitter.com/emmsyemma/status/1566766098061660160?s=21&t=u7C8Ih39hd-NJXUMFQk8Wg

As for my family, we are feeling relieved to be in a safe state but always revisiting our escape plan to get out of America if the conservative party comes back in power. The 7 years of trauma we endured is beginning to surface in new ways now that we can process it. I’m randomly bursting into tears but having to buy eggs at the grocery store nearly broke me… if you don’t know my family we had a flock of chickens who were our pets that we had to rehome to get Kai to safety. I’ll share with you one of the gifts I have given myself since we left everything behind is this beautiful stained glass feather I got from Italian Freckles – It’s a Glass Thing! on Etsy. It reminds me of my Butters, a beautiful, funny, and smart buff Orpington who was one of my favorites. Maybe I’ll buy another for my birthday to remind me of Phil and another for Christmas…

https://www.etsy.com/listing/671586268/

Being in a place where we feel safe enough to process the trauma and grief of all we lost is a good thing and we wouldn’t have been able to do it without the help of every single donation to our GoFundMe and we will forever be thankful for all the kindness we’ve been given and those tears mix with all the others. https://gofund.me/c3773e43 Tears of relief, gratefulness, and grief all mixed together and it’s a good thing.

We are being responsible with our spending but moving and starting from scratch is expensive. Living in a safe state for trans kids is expensive. Living in the city is expensive. Knowing we will need to move again in spring is a bit discouraging. Also, super frustrating when you just know you have something and start looking for it and realize it didn’t make the move with us.

I still believe in the goodness of people. I still have hope. I do not still have Hefty Leaf Bags because I left those back in Texas.