Post 5 from the secret group for Christian moms of transgender kids…
WARNING: This was early in our social transition (coming out of the closet). I still used wrong pronouns and probably said things I wouldn’t say now. But THIS is our journey and we share it with the belief that transparency changes hearts.
August 19, 2015
Woke up this morning with a flood of emotions.
What if I just keep praying and believing for this kid to be manly. Why am I letting him pick his own clothes? Shouldn’t every kid pick their own clothes? He is almost 5. He isn’t a he. Yes he is!
It’s just clothes. It’s more than clothes and I know it.
I’m losing all of my friends. No, Kimberly. You’re finding out who your friends really are.
I want Christians to stop judging me. I want me to stop judging and hating Christians. It’s not all Christians. The church is the new mission field! I need to take Jesus there with me.
Do I stay in my church home? I love my pastor, but some of the members make it so incredibly difficult. My fear makes it difficult. Maybe the real problem is that I’ve been so judgmental about this topic in the past that I fear what they are thinking more than how they are behaving.
So I am more focused on my fear than on my Savior. There’s an abundance of scriptures warning about fear. I think I’ll meditate on these:
The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?
4 thoughts on “Judge not”
You know Kim before I came out I was so afraid of what people would think about me and the church that I have gone to in the past I was afraid of people from the church would condemn me for being transgender and try to cast out the Devil in me. It has been 4 years now and I have seen a lot of people from that church and they love me no matter what. Jesus is love, and people have to remember that.
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I just wondered how large your immediate family was and what the boy/girl ratio was. In other words sisters and brothers and has your husband hung in there with you? I do pray for your continued strength and for Kais continued acceptance in this very often difficult world. I am a Christian but have a very open mind and realize that this is not something “communicable” and Kai needs to be able to associate with girls. Hang in there, Mom!
I came from a large southern family.
On another note, I think you sent a friend request via fb. I deleted it before I read your message. You’re welcome to resend. I’ll accept.